written by Nick Destefano

The Blubber Bunch:                                                                                     

Dennis: by far, the hairiest member of the Blubber Bunch.  His abilities include transforming his face upon removing his glasses.  He also possesses remarkable physical strength.  He rarely shows emotions and has little patience or compassion for people who annoy him.

 Drew: large-nosed member of the Blubber Bunch, and one of the most neurotic.  He constantly feels that everyone hates him, while still considering himself above the rest of the Bunch.  His abilities include causing tremendous impact and widespread destruction simply by sneezing.

 Jack (J.A.C): simply called Jack by his friends (and enemies), he possesses the most cunning and devious mind in the Blubber Bunch.  Jack lives to implement pranks and mind games on his corpulent comrades, particularly JLames.  His admiration for cats and desire to inflict pain on those who wrong him led to his growing of a set of claws. His mysterious, and sometimes disturbing smile, is a permanent expression on his face.

 JLames: the JLarge One, also sometimes called Bames.  He is the most important member of the Blubber Bunch, for it would not exist without him.  His birth was a prophecy of the Blubber God and his large, spherical body, multitude of chins, and earth-shaking roar have been what has held the Blubber Bunch together for so many years.  His destiny is much bigger than anyone realizes.  He has often proclaimed fellow Blubber Bunch member Jack, who constantly annoys him, as his nemesis.  JLames has a short temper and an extremely large appetite.  Even his entry is large.

 Mike: red-haired, acne covered, mumbling, slow-witted member of the Blubber Bunch.  Due to his low intelligence, Mike is often the target of practical jokes.  His most used expression is “Uhh” and he is the least influential of the Bunch.

 Nick: thinnest member of the Blubber Bunch. The only member, other than Jack, that has virtually no body fat at all.  Nick documents events that take place in East Windsor into written records and illustrated stories.  More often than not, he is directly involved in these events.  He possesses a collection of pencils that can do anything beginning with the letter “P.”  He also possesses the power to “airpocket.”

Other Characters:

Albert Fat: esteemed scientist and top employee at J.A.C Labs, eventually achieving the title of vice president.  He is best known for his discovery of the atomic element fattium.

Avery: friend of Jack and natural enemy of Nick.  His devious mind and evil tendencies, rubbed off from his childhood counterpart, have often caused problems for others. 

Bannon: large-assed member of the Legion of Lard.  She masquerades as an art teacher.

The Blubber God: a common force between the Blubber Bunch and the Legion of Lard.  It was he who created JLames’ Mom.  His powers, however, are restricted to fat and fat-related topics.

Clark: U.S. history teacher.  He has been suspected of a questionable relationship with Jack.

Williams: probably the most knowledgeable English teacher. This short, bald, bearded wonder is always seen carrying a long teaching stick, which he has been know to strike students with on numerous occasions.

Doggy Jones: anthropomorphic dog born from the mind of Nick.  He has little effect on the grand course of events, but has served as Jack’s only real enemy.  He has helped, as well as fought, the Blubber Bunch on several occasions.

Gaelic: supreme ruler of Dennis’ high school who has established great interest in imprisoning Dennis.  His reasons have remained a mystery.

Gary: insane driver of school bus 32.  His lifelong mission is to destroy the Large Ones.  He has aided the Blubber Bunch against threats like JLames’ Mom, as well as fought against them.  His plan is to use the Blubber Bunch to exterminate the Large Ones, and then destroy the JLarge One.

Ghoffer: centaur who hates the Blubber Bunch for no reason.  A trend he started back in 1993.

Grofe: the Blubber Bunch’s most persistent foe.  He possesses the ability to change into any shape he chooses, but his large, blank white eyes prevent him from assuming a convincing human form.

Grove Lart: a man who was horribly mutated after JLames farted on him.  He, of course, hates the Blubber Bunch.

Humanoid L: student whom Nick code named “humanoid L” to keep her identity a secret from Jack.

The J.A.C Cat: a genetically engineered cat that Jack created to look like himself.  Another J.A.C Cat was created several years later.  It was different from the original, but Jack didn’t care.

JLames’ Ass: the Ass of JLames, which we have all come to know so well.

JLames’ Dad: JLames’ father. He is a member of the Legion of Lard and has only six teeth.  He is often involved in illegal activities and is almost constantly at odds with his wife.

James: leader of East Windsor’s modern slangers.  Lawson continues on his endless quest for “twuh-fie cent.”  He is not in any way related to JLames’ Dad or JLames’ Mom.

JLames’ Mom: mother of JLames, wife of JLames’ Dad.  JLames’ Mom is the ultimate epitome of beastliness and the biggest menace East Windsor has ever seen.  Her body alone takes up nearly a third of the town.  Simply looking upon her face can prove fatal.  She is a constant danger to all, but concentrates her anger on the Blubber Bunch, who, much to her disliking, constantly make fun of her.

JHon: Science teacher that spans time. JHon monitors and sometimes manipulates virtually all events that transpire in East Windsor.

J.O.N.E.S.: cyborg from the planet Kybernan.  His planet had been at war with the planet JLennia, the homeworld of JLames’ Mom, JLames’ Dad, and several others.  After the destruction of JLennia, J.O.N.E.S. was sent to Earth to eliminate the last of the Large Ones.

Kermitchove: friend of Dennis and Justin.  His ass is not a fool.

Kajak: local dragon.

Larry the Large One: the largest member of the Legion of Lard.  Larry is a clone of JLames created by Jack for reasons that have not been completely determined, but are undoubtedly unfavourable to JLames.

Leeza: martial arts expert whose family was murdered and devoured by fat people. She has dedicated her life to exterminating the obese and their friends.

The Legion of Lard: a militia of abnormally fat people essentially known as the Large Ones, the last survivors of the destroyed planet JLennia.  They occasionally fight the Blubber Bunch over control of East Windsor territory.  Their main goal is to obtain the legendary Universal Twinkie®.

Lotbbe: leader of the Blubber Bunch enemies.  For some reason, he did not make himself known until 1995, two years after the Bunch was formed. His reason for hating the Blubber Bunch is unknown.  He died in 1996 of “natural causes.”

Megaton: failed creation of the Blubber Bunch enemies in yet another plan to kill the Blubber Bunch.

Mister Jones: short guy with two teeth and a moustache, who wears suits that are too big for him.  He serves no purpose other than to help the Blubber Bunch when they ask him to. His help usually has no impact.

Mason: co-founder of the Legion of Lard. He is SEVERELY large.

The Modern Slangers: virtually every jiving, chesting, drug dealing/doing bad-ass in town.  Their name comes from their method of speaking. 

Nastoids: the technical term for… unattractive people.  They include Beastus Rotundor, Fatnastus Repulsor, Fatros Disgustoid, Yuck Uglos, Hugerian Blobulo, and many others.

9^th Grade: originally the worst era in Blubber Bunch history, but was later personified into the ultimate being of evil.  His main weapon is inflicting flashbacks of this horrible time on the Blubber Bunch.

1.0: code name. She becomes a catalyst in an invention of Nick and Dennis, a secret operation by Nick, and ultimately a scheme implemented on Nick by Jack.

The Other Nick: android duplicate of Nick designed to infiltrate the Blubber Bunch.

Phreak of Nature: a pet of Jack’s that was mutated into “human” form during a botched experiment at J.A.C Labs.  He did not appreciate Jack keeping him caged up for so long and the two have not been on the best of terms ever since.

Richard: member of the Legion of Lard, also known as “The Fatboy.”  He was a childhood target of Jack and Avery in elementary school and once came pretty close to eating the Universal Twinkie.

Stomach Monsters: creatures that live inside the stomachs of the Large Ones. They have more than once foiled plans by Gary to destroy the Large Ones from “the inside.”

Urge to Kill the Blubber Bunch: unidentified mist floating around town making people want to kill the Blubber Bunch.

Western Bames: the most famous of all the Bameses, relatives of JLames scattered throughout the globe. Every few weeks they all reunite at an International Bames Convention.

Zecrath: genetically engineered Blubber Bunch killing machine. He failed.